He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
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