I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
are you so shy because you have an std?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
