I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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