Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
i think i just lost a toe
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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