Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
