She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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