Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Randomize
