i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a naked man in my car right now.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Randomize