Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
