is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
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Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
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It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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