Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
