you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
