What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
