she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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