ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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