"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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