please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
