the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
