I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
