Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
