i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Please don't give away my fajitas
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