The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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