what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
