If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I skipped work to stalk him.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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