Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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