I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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