Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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