If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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