Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
