Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
