then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
