My boss' voice literally gives me gas
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Randomize
