it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
