But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
