The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
