shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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