you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
