he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
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