mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
