Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
