Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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