someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
