That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
