I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
