going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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