If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
