You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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