Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
be right there i have to get my cape
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
