you mean i was at the winter classic?
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
