My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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