i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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