you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
