My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize