i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
