besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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