I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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