Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
