I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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