Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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