dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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